The Pied Piper A mysterious stranger. When he plays his magical pipe he can make any creature do anything he likes. Helps rid the town of rats but is then tricked into luring the children away. Redeems himself at the end.
Mayor Vogel The baddie and Mayor of the town. A conceited, egotistical man. Refuses to pay the Pied Piper after he rids the town of rats. Instrumental in eradicating the children from the town.
Fraulein Helga A traditional pantomime dame. Frustrated with the incompetence of her husband and son. Jenell Principal girl. Sweet and innocent, she wears colourful clothes, loves life and is always full of joy. Secretly in love with Anton.
Anton Principal boy. A fearless local boy who helps finds the children after they have been lured away.
Frank Comedy double act with Furter. Fails to understand why so many sausages jokes are made and they take great comfort in insulting Helga.
Furter As above.
Gunter The baddie’s put-upon assistant
Magda A small, non-speaking part. Henning’s lazy and overweight cat. Refuses to catch the rats plaguing the town. Likes to dance when there’s no one else around.
Mallory Deakins An enthusiastic roving reporter who keeps popping up with her cameraman to record live news bulletins.
Reiner Mallory’s cameraman. Frustrated at having only a few lines to speak.
Matilda Jenell loyal best friend.
Oskar Son of the dame and the only child left after The Pied Piper lures the children away.
Henning The town’s inept pest controller and the husband of the dame. Henpecked. Likes to quote famous sayings/proverbs but never gets them quite right.
Major Rat Sergeant Major type leader of the rats. Small part.
Mallory Deakins (into Reiner’s camera, speaking into a microphone) This is Mallory Deakins reporting for Pantomime Outside Broadcast News coming live from the town of Hamelin. This usually quiet scenic town has today been over taken by the largest infestation of rats ever reported. News reaches us that rats have been discovered in every home and street without exception. No-one knows why this has occurred or where the rats have come from. (A rat runs very close to Mallory; she shrieks but ever the professional she carries on). As you can see no one is safe from the invasion.
Fraulein Helga enters wearing a ‘Heidi’ dairy maid style outfit; she’s chasing a rat chorus member with a sweeping brush.
Fraulein Helga Go on, off with you! How dare you come into my house uninvited? Shoo! Shoo!
The rat exits. Mallory continues reporting.
Mallory I’m happy to report that the residents of Hamelin are fighting back. Let me see if I can speak with this brave lady. (To Helga) Excuse me Fraulein, could I get your views on the horrible event that has blighted your peaceful neighbourhood?
Helga Oh dear, this is terrible.
Mallory When did you first become aware of the infestation?
Helga This morning, I was getting clean undergarments out of my dresser when I opened the drawer a rat was staring back at me. It was there, all cosy and snug right in the middle of my corsets and thongs.
Mallory That must have been quite a shock for you.
Helga It was. Not even my husband has been that near to my undergarments for quite some time, I can tell you. (Suddenly becomes aware she’s on camera) Wait a minute are you filming me?
Mallory Yes, you are speaking to the nation live on Pantomime Outside Broadcast News.
Helga (straightens her hair and clothes) Oh I’m all of a mess, if I’d have known; I would have put on my Sunday best.
Mallory I’m sure the nation understands. What can be done about the situation?
Helga I’ve already been to the Town Hall to complain.
Mallory And what happened?
Helga I said this town is in a mess, what are you going to do about the rat problem?
Mallory And what was the response?
Helga There wasn’t one. It was an aerobics class!
Mallory Well thank you for taking the time to speak with us.
Frank & Furter enter.
Mallory (on seeing Frank & Furter) And here are two more frightened residents, excuse me would you be willing to speak on camera about today’s dreadful event?
Furter Of course.
Mallory You live in Hamelin?
Frank Born and bred.
Mallory Can you tell the viewers at home your names.
Furter I’m Furter and this (points to Frank) is Frank.
Mallory Oh like the sausage?
Frank (perplexed) Sausage? No. Is there a furterfrank sausage?
Mallory No the other way round, frankfurt … oh never mind. What are your thoughts on the plague of rats swarming the town?
Furter (looking round) Rats? There’s a plaque of rats?
Frank We didn’t know.
Mallory But they’re everywhere.
Frank Hadn’t noticed.
Helga (to Mallory) You won’t get anywhere with these two. There’s a small piece of brain lodged in one of their skulls, we still don’t know which one has it.
Mallory (to Frank & Furter) Thank you for your time. (Into camera) I shall keep you updated of events as they occur and hope to find out exactly what Mayor Vogel intends to do about this terrible situation as soon as possible. Mallory Deakins, P.O.B News, signing off. (Reiner stops filming). I want to get to the children’s playground before it’s too late; apparently the rats are taking it in turns to go down the slide.
They start to leave.
Reiner I didn’t have any lines in that scene.
Mallory Didn’t you? Oh well there’s plenty more scenes. Come on.
