Mother Goose The dame. Mother to Lucy & Sheldrake. Her wish to be young and beautiful puts her in peril at the hands of the Demon.
Lucy Goose Principal girl. Mother Goose’s beloved daughter. Sweet-natured girl, loved by both Brodie & Teddy.
Brodie Goodwood Principal Boy. Arrives looking for his long-lost father but finds love with Lucy Goose. Brave and heroic.
Hovis Comedy duo with Bovis. They pop up in various job positions through the pantomime from bodyguards to cleaners and many others.
Bovis As above.
Demon Daevas The Baddie. A once powerful demon severely weaken by a battle long ago with Fairy Alvina but he is determined to get revenge. Dresses all in black and barely tolerates the incompetence of his two henchmen. Tricks Mother Goose into believing he can give her beauty and youthfulness. He’s desperate to get hold of Priscilla the goose.
Maggot Demon Daevas’s henchman with Taggot. Both are equally useless and infuriate the demon with their actions
Taggot As above.
Lord ‘Teddy’ Flanshaw Lord of the manor. A young ‘Hoorah Henry’ type who would be lost without his put-upon Butler Pillsbury. A spoilt child in a man’s body. Landlord of Mother Goose’s cottage and foolishly believes Lucy Goose loves him.
Pillsbury A strait-laced butler with a ‘seen it all before’ attitude towards Lord Flanshaw’s antics. A Jeeves and Wooster type double act with Lord Flanshaw.
Sheldrake Goose A medium part. Mother Goose’s cheeky young son. Nagged constantly by Mother Goose but always has the last laugh at his mother’s expense.
Fairy Alvina A powerful fairy who has a long history with the demon. Changes from a traditional to a modern fairy with attitude to match. Casts a spell to make Priscilla the goose lay golden eggs.
Farmer Fields Small part. A farmer with a broad Yorkshire accent. Gifts Priscilla the Goose to Mother Goose and revealed to be Brodie’s long-lost father.
Priscilla The goose. A small, non-speaking part. After Fairy Alvina casts a spell Priscilla lays golden eggs.
Dolores Del Rey A small but important role. A con woman who takes on the role of Venustas, Guardian of the Pool of Beauty for Demon Daevas to deceive Mother Goose. Unfortunately she isn’t a very good con woman.
Sheldrake I’ve done lots of things today.
Mother Goose Like what?
Sheldrake Oh too many to mention but I must have done a thousand different things already.
Mother Goose (exasperated) Thousands? How many millions of times have I told you not to exaggerate? You’re an embarrassment to me. You haven’t got a job.
Sheldrake I’m only 13.
Mother Goose Don’t interrupt me whilst I’m having a go at you! You’re idle. You couldn’t play second fiddle in a one-man band! You should get a job.
Sheldrake Why?
Mother Goose Because if you had a job you would have money and you could save up.
Sheldrake Why?
Mother Goose Then you could pay it into a pension and then later you could retire and you wouldn’t have to work anymore.
Sheldrake But I don’t work now.
Mother Goose Why can’t you be more like your sister? (She gently takes Lucy’s hand) Lucy you are the apple of my eye and the light of my life.
Lucy Thank you Mother.
Sheldrake What about me? Am I the apple of your eye?
Mother Goose (Releasing Lucy’s hand and turning sharply to face Sheldrake) NO! You’re the bane of my life and a mistake!
Sheldrake I’ll report you to the RSPCA.
Mother Goose What does that stand for?
Sheldrake The Royal Society for People who Can’t Act!
Mother Goose I’d be careful what you say to me, I have influence. I’m big round here.
Sheldrake You always taught me to not be rude, so I’m staying silent!
Brodie (to Sheldrake) I think your mother is very outspoken.
Sheldrake Not by anyone I know. She’s so tired by the end of the day she can hardly continue her nagging.
Farmer Fields enters.
Lucy (to Farmer Fields) Farmer Fields, how are you?
Fields Ah’m fair to middlin’. How’s Priscilla?
Lucy Oh she’s settling in well. Mother just bought her some food.
Fields (looking at cart) Ah that’ll keep her goin’ for a while. She reight likes that. Ah’ll be making me way back home now then.
Lucy You came all this way just to check up on Priscilla?
Fields Aye tha’s reight I did. I should have come on me scooter.
Brodie Oh I love scooters, is it a Vespa, a Yamaha? Ooh don’t tell me you have a Lambretta.
Fields None of them
Brodie What kind of scooter is it then?
Fields A mobility scooter.
Brodie takes Farmer Fields to one side.
Brodie I was wondering if I could get some advice from you about Lucy. I really would like to ask her out.
Fields Nah then lad, I’m tha’ last person to ask about romance. I’m the sex symbol for women who don’t care.
Brodie She’s so beautiful; I don’t want to ruin things by saying or doing the wrong thing.
Fields Are ya getting that tingly feeling all over?
Brodie I am, yes.
Fields Aye that’s common sense leaving your body.
