Dick Whittington A heroic principal boy who goes to London seeking his fortune. Bravely takes on King Rat in order to save the day and falls in love with Alice.
Alderman Fitzwarren Alice’s devoted father. A merchant who gives Dick a job. A kind, good-natured man.
Alice Fitzwarren The principal girl. Alice is a sweet girl, loved by both Dick and Jack but she only has eyes for Dick.
Polly Pumpkin The traditional pantomime dame. She works for Fitzwarren as his cook. She is shocked to find her one true love is the captain of Fitzwarren’s new ship but she refuses to let him off lightly for abandoning her years before.
Slack Jack Polly’s lazy assistant who’s in love with Alice. He isn’t happy when Dick becomes his rival for her affections.
Captain Barnacle The captain of Fitzwarren’s new ship. He and Polly had once been sweethearts; he now has a lot of making up to do if he is ever going to regain her love.
Squidly An incompetent member of Barnacle’s crew. Completely oblivious to how useless he is and how little Barnacle thinks of him.
Tommy Dick Whittington’s faithful cat. A non-speaking but important part.
King Rat The Baddie. When he overhears Bowbellas’s prediction that Dick will soon be rich, he is determined to steal the fortune and live the opulent life he truly believes he deserves. However his endeavours are solely hampered by his inept partners in crime.
Wormtail King Rat’s associate. Only has one good eye and isn’t always keen to engage in King Rat’s schemes to get rich.
Ratunzel The other reluctant associate of King Rat. Once had a lovely long tail which was the envy of all rats until King Rat chopped it off.
Bowbellas A small but important part. A fortune teller who predicts that Dick will become the Lord Mayor of London and be very wealthy.
Sultan Peppar The head of state for the Island that the cast gets shipwrecked on. Affluent but unable to control the rat population blighting his land. After Dick & Tommy get rid of the rats, he hands over a fortune in gold.
Sultana Peppar A small part. The Sultan’s supportive wife.
Colin A member of the chorus who pops up throughout the pantomime playing different parts becoming friends with most of the cast along the way.
Mustapha Orda The Sultan’s loyal right-hand man. In his role as servant he unintentionally offends Polly with his assumptions she is constantly in need of his assistance.
Polly I thought you said seasickness only lasts a few days?
Fitzwarren Breathe in the fresh air, it’ll do you good.
Polly Staying on dry land eating chocolate and drinking wine, that’s what’s good for me, not this!
Alice Look at this positively, since you’ve had seasickness for several days, you at least now look like your passport photo. (She looks hopefully to Polly)
Polly That doesn’t help. Anyway we must turn back. I’m sure I left the iron on at home. It could start a fire.
Jack Don’t worry, I left the water running so everything will be fine.
Fitzwarren (to Polly) We really do need you to be well, I don’t think the crew will take Jack doing the cooking for much longer. I fear they’ll be a mutiny.
Jack Hey what’s wrong with my cooking?
Fitzwarren Under the circumstances you’re doing a marvellous job. And your food is full of different flavours. (Jack grins broadly). It’s just a shame that none of them are particularly pleasant.
Alice Jack’s cooking leaves me speechless because most of it is still stuck in my teeth!
Jack (upset) I’m doing my best.
Alice We are grateful, it’s just that we miss Polly’s cooking so much.
Fitzwarren Also Jack I was wondering what you’d done with all the clothes I brought with me? I couldn’t find any clean shirts this morning.
Jack I put all your clothes in that little closet with the small round window in your cabin.
Fitzwarren (puts his head in his hands) Oh dear.
Jack Why, what’s wrong with that?
Fitzwarren That was the port-hole not the closet. Oh well never mind I’ll buy a new set of clothes when we reach our destination.
Barnacle, Squidly, Dick & Tommy enter.
Barnacle (admonishing Dick) Keep that cat out of my cabin. It’s full of fleas!
Dick Thanks for telling me. Tommy, stay out of the captain’s cabin, apparently it’s full of fleas.
Barnacle I don’t know why we even have that cat on board, it’s a pest.
Dick You leave Tommy alone. My cat’s very clever, he can do mathematics.
Squidly Really?
Dick You ask Tommy what four minus four is and do you know what he will say?
Squidly (enthusiastically) No, what?
Dick Nothing, which is the correct answer.
Squidly That’s amazing. I’m rubbish at Maths. I’ve lost count how many times I failed my Maths exam.
Dick Let’s try some Maths questions, see how you do.
Squidly (childishly excited) Oh go on then.
Dick If I had seven coconuts in my left hand and seven coconuts in my right hand, what would I have?
Squidly Very big hands!
Dick If you have ten pounds in your left pocket and five pounds in your right pocket, what would you have?
Squidly Somebody else’s trousers. (He pulls his empty pockets out).
Polly (to Squidly) Are you depriving a village somewhere of an idiot?
Squidly (innocently) Oh I don’t know, am I?
Polly I though Jack was stupid but maybe he’s found his match.
