Elizabeth Turpin Large Part. The sister of Dick Turpin and the real Highway Robber. A feisty, gutsy girl who has turned to a life of crime for the right reasons.
Dick Turpin Small/Medium Part. A pathetic wimp!
Mrs Chutney Large Part. The Dame and mother to Bronwyn, Martha and Gilbert. A widow who’s fallen on hard times. Audience interaction required.
Bronwyn Medium Part. Mrs Chutney’s oldest daughter. Straight-laced, prim and proper.
Martha Medium Part. Mrs Chutney’s youngest daughter. A lively member of the family with a sarcastic wit!
Gilbert Small/Medium Part. Mrs Chutney’s son. Dominated by the female members of his family.
Councillor Bliss Large/Medium Part. Elder village Statesman and admirer of Mrs Chutney.
Town Crier Small Part. The part requires a loud, bellowing voice, probably more suited to be played by a man.
Black Bess Small Part. Traditional Pantomime horse. Requires two people.
Tubby McGrub Large Part. The owner of the Bluebell Inn and the pantomime baddie. Needs to show lots of hostility towards the other cast members and the audience!
Bingo Medium/Large Part. Part of the comedy double act with Jingo. Not very bright but a loveable rogue.
Jingo Medium/Large Part. Comedy double act. As above.
Ambrose Medium Part. Tubby McGrub’s son but his complete opposite. He is loveable, charming and secretly in love with Elizabeth.
Inspector Cluebo Medium Part. A firm but considerate detective, tasked with finding the illusive highway robber.
PC Badger Medium Part. Insp Cluebo’s partner. Tries his best to be a good policeman but can be distracted by his love for Bronwyn.
The Narrator Medium Part. Could be played by male or female. Flits in and out of the story but keeps getting the timing wrong. Must be able to sing.
Mrs Chutney and Bronwyn enter. They are wearing nice clothes. Bingo and Jingo follow.
Mrs Chutney Well I don’t know who left all that money on our doorstep, but it’s lovely being rich.(To Bingo and Jingo) What do you think of my new dress? (She strikes a pose).
Bingo It’s very nice.
Mrs Chutney Yes it was very expensive but it was worth it, it fits like a glove.
Bingo Yes I can see, it sticks out in five places.
Mrs Chutney I was told I have an hourglass figure.
Jingo (glances to her rear) Pity the sand’s all fallen to the bottom.
Mrs Chutney I’ve also had a face lift.
Bingo It’s not high enough; I can still see your face.
Mrs Chutney I have the complexion of a sixteen-year-old.
Jingo Well give it back, you’re wrinkling it!
Bronwyn Mother come and sit down and I’ll see if anyone is serving drinks round here. I don’t know where Tubby has got to.
Mrs Chutney and Bronwyn sit down. Councillor Bliss, Gilbert and Martha enter.
Gilbert I think I like being rich. I’m going to buy four cars. One for each direction! But whether having all this money will buy me love is another matter. I didn’t have any luck when I was poor. I sent my photo to a Lonely-Hearts Club.
Martha Well they should match you up with someone.
Gilbert They sent my photo back. They said they weren’t that lonely!
Cllr Bliss Ah love is indeed a hard thing to find. (Looks at Mrs Chutney). I’m just glad I’ve found my one true love, if only she felt the same way. (Approaches Mrs Chutney) Madam, if I may be so bold as to have a word with you. I have a very deep affection for you and I have loved you for too many years. I assure you my feelings are true and genuine and I would cherish the opportunity to take care of you and to love you for the rest of our lives.
Mrs Chutney (bashful) Oh Councillor Bliss you smooth talking lothario. Why haven’t you ever said anything before?
Cllr Bliss I have, many times.
Mrs Chutney You have?
Cllr Bliss (hopeful) Is the answer yes?
Mrs Chutney Of course it is but I hope you’re going to be a better husband than my last one. He was useless in the bedroom. (Pause) Couldn’t make a bed properly for all the tea in China!
They embrace, everyone congratulates them.
