Alice Large part. Alice is a lively, adventurous young lady who has a caring and gentle side too. She is the main character so needs lots of enthusiasm and personality.
White Rabbit Small part. Strait-laced, serious character with a fixation for time- keeping and correctness.
Mad Hatter Large part. Zany, crazy character (could be played by male or female). Lots of energy and a willingness to ‘let go’ and generally go for it!
The Dormouse Small part. Dozy, loveable, but essential to the story.
Queen Of Hearts Large part. The pantomime baddie, played by either male or female. Bossy, overbearing, always wants her own way, quick to make demands and give out orders. Some audience interaction required.
King Of Hearts Medium part. A timid, weak man, completely dominated by his wife (The Queen).
Tweedledee & Tweedledum Medium parts. A not very bright comedy double act. Tweedledee slightly brighter than Tweedledum but not by much! Knock about comedy required and some singing is involved.
Flora Dora Large part. Pantomime Dame. Mother to Alice and Lorinda, permanently on the lookout for a man. Interaction with audience required.
Lorinda Medium part. Alice’s older sister. More serious than Alice but has a good heart. A bit of a goody two shoes character.
Cheshire Cat Medium part. An important character to the story. Very clever and slightly sinister. Tries to keep order when chaos is all around.
Jack Of Spades Medium part. Principal Boy. Smart, intelligent gentleman. Traditional ‘Prince’ type character. Attracted to Alice.
Henry Small part. Aide to the Jack of Spades. Loyal, trusting servant and Lorinda’s love interest.
The March Hare Small part. Friend to the Mad Hatter but slightly more serious.
Big Mac Small part. The Queen’s henchman and executioner. For comedic reasons this needs to be played by the smallest cast member. Acts big and tough regardless of size. Some running around required.
The Judge Small part. Only appears near the end of the pantomime. A good part for an older man who tries to be authoritative but with a dubious grasp of the law!
The Jabberwocky Small part. This needs to be played by two people in a monster costume. Non-speaking part. Will be accompanied by loud monster noises. Only appears in two scenes. Could also be in chorus.
Big Alice, Tiny Alice, 2 Clerks To The Court, 3 Male Singers (No Direction) All small parts. One or two speaking lines each. Anyone taking these parts could also be in the chorus if they wished. The Singers have one song to sing.
Mad Hatter I’m just glad you are here. You are all most welcome.
Alice Oh, Mad Hatter the table looks lovely. There’s so much food.
Mad Hatter I hope you’re all hungry? I’ve made everything myself and as you are all aware, men make the best chefs – Gordon Ramsey, Jamie Oliver, (slight pause) Ronald McDonald.
Lorinda Have you got healthy food? We all need to eat five portions of fruit and veg a day.
Cheshire Cat Well, I had peas today for my dinner and there must have been at least 30 peas on my plate, so I’m OK for the next (counts on fingers) six days!
Flora Dora Yes and I’ve just eaten a jumbo bar of fruit and nut and a large packet of fruit pastilles, so that’s me sorted.
Lorinda I don’t think you’re quite grasping the meaning of healthy food.
March Hare Health food is bad for you. I had a friend who got seriously injured through health food.
Lorinda How?
March Hare A crate of grapes fell on him!
Mad Hatter Come, come everyone, let’s all sit down.
Sound Effect
(Background Music ‘Tea for two’)
(Everyone sits around the table. The Mad Hatter offers round cakes and buns and pours the tea.)
Sound Effect
(Tea being poured)
(The Dormouse instantly falls asleep with his head in his dish. A large Spider drops from the ceiling, scaring everyone.)
Sound Effect
(Whoosh!)
(Tea is spilled, cakes are dropped and all-round confusion and madness ensues for a few minutes. Eventually everyone settles down to tea.)
Cheshire Cat So, Mr White Rabbit, why don’t you amuse us all with your rapier-like wit?
White Rabbit NO!
Alice Has anyone got anything interesting to tell us?
Mad Hatter I think my goldfish is reading my diary.
Alice (Looking around) Anyone else?
Flora Dora Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the seaside and fell asleep on the beach?
Alice No, what happened?
Flora Dora Well there I was snoring away on a deckchair, when I was rudely awakened and told I had to pay 50p.
Mad Hatter I didn’t know they charged for snoring?
Flora Dora Not for the snoring, the deckchair!
Mad Hatter Oh right.
Cheshire Cat That’s cheap; deckchairs are a tenner in the shops. (Looking smug.) I know these things because I’m very clever.
Flora Dora It was the deckchair attendant, you see. Strange looking man … he had a face like a squashed frog! Anyway I refused to pay so he ordered me off the beach. Well I’d never been so offended in all my life.
March Hare Had a sheltered life, have you?
Flora Dora I was so upset that I got the man to buy me a portion of cod and chips and before I knew it we were married.
Alice Are you talking about my father?
Flora Dora The very man!
Alice But I thought he was an explorer?
Flora Dora (mischievously) Well he explored every part of me, I can tell you!
White Rabbit Can I be frank?
Flora Dora If you wish but I thought you were called The White Rabbit.
March Hare Always better to be frank.
Mad Hatter (Looking confused) Who’s Frank?
White Rabbit I don’t think we want to hear about your love life, if you don’t mind.
Flora Dora Please yourself!
Alice (To The Mad Hatter) I must say Mad Hatter the food is lovely.
Mad Hatter Thank you.
Alice I’m glad we have knives and forks and not chopsticks. I can’t use them at all.
Mad Hatter Me neither. I tried to eat spaghetti with chopsticks once.
Alice What happened?
Mad Hatter I ended up knitting a jumper!
(The Dormouse suddenly wakes up, starts singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’- the others listen and nod encouragingly – but he falls back asleep after the first two lines.)
Alice Oh, how sweet.
March Hare At least he’s not snoring.
Mad Hatter There’s time yet.
